You Know What It's Time For?

Another rousing game of 'commenting on CNN headlines' because headlines are usually the most misleading and fun part of the news and there are some good ones today folks. Enjoy.

26 AK-74 assault rifles stolen from Army post - Wow. Good to know you guys are at the top of your game. 

Chappelle sorry for not being funny - Thank you for apologizing.
Are the Smurfs crypto-fascists? - Yes. Yes they are.
Why Americans once loved France - I still like you as a friend France! It's just I don't want to get into anything serious right now! You understand right?
It's time for the 'Cut the Crap Act' (under 'Politics') - I couldn't agree more.
Hustler offers Casey Anthony $500K - Lovely. Just lovely.
Are Internet Explorer users dumb? - Maybe not dumb. Just ignorant?
Scooby-Doo meets the Kama Sutra - Okaaaaaay.
Apple has more cash than Treasury - Well in all fairness, Apple has had a much better year then the government has.

Apparently Congress is close to making a deal? Cutting it pretty close aren't we guys?
Seniors: We need our Social Security! - And you really don't want to take a piss on them. They're the only ones who vote anymore.