Baby, It Sure Is Cold Outside

But at least I'm back! School is done till 2012 and I sure am happy! That also means I no longer have anymore excuses not to blog constantly and unnecessarily! Tonight or tomorrow I shall write up a super special holiday post for my readers (all two of you!), but for now, I shall leave you with a few pictures to keep you awake at night.

And let me remind you, I own nothing!

Take A Stand

http://americancensorship.org/

I Promise

I'm not dead. Just overworked.

So, I Have Two Exams Tomorrow

But I'm doing pretty much everything else but studying for them, including writing pointless blog entries.

I was told it is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so here's an "arrrr!" and a "shiver me timbers" for all of you.

The Charlie Sheen Roast on Comedy Central is tonight - and I am excited! CC's roast are the best!

Now back to those History and Biology exams tomorrow... *sigh*

From Rage Comics 

I Wish I Could Tell You

something patriotic and wonderful on this day - this 10th anniversary of a day that rocked, not just America, but the entire world - but there is nothing I could possibly say that could convey the feeling of despair. On the contrary, I feel that this country has moved in the wrong direction after such a day of terror. So many people died that day, but for what? So our government can restrict our rights and commit acts of blatant racism against its own people? Is that why blood was shed in so excessive of amounts on that day and on everyday since in other countries far from ours? I guess I can dream of an United States of America that instead of living in terror, walks in bravery and strength, not military strength, but strength of spirit. Everyday that we change our lives, restrict our rights in the name of finding "threats" to our own security, and live in fear of those whose customs and cultures we do not understand, we let them win. We let those who sought to take our freedom and our lives from us win. Terrorism is an institution that can only survive when it has victims for who it can force to live in fear. If we no longer let our fears consume our lives - if we could live our lives with wide eyes and a joyful heart, for no day is guaranteed to us - than the bloodshed was not in vain. Our fallen brothers and sisters were not murdered without purpose if we could only allow ourselves to throw off the status as victims and rise to the greatness and bravery that I believe this country's heart demands of its people, for our own home's own survival. This is the closest to a patriotic pledge this anniversary that I can muster;  let us not forget the fallen and let us not repeat the past.

And thank God for our servicemen and women!

What Can I Say? I'm Lazy!

Haven't blogged in over a month and I'm still not going to quite yet! Right now, I'm contemplating selling my blood for a sandwich. College makes you way poor, kids.

Untitled Because I Say So

Yesterday was my first day back at school and it was so-so, dear. Me and Biology - we do not get along. But today! Now that was great. Let me give you a snippet 

Applied Psych @ 10:50am

"Eh, this is the last time we'll be teaching this class at this school so screw the textbook. We'll be watching case studies everyday so kick back, bring your snow cones, and relax a little."

*Relaxes*

Intro to Film as Literature @ 12:15pm

"By the way, this is an R-rated class...Fuck! There, I said it."

*Smiles*

I think I'll enjoy my Mondays and Wednesdays. Unfortunately tomorrow is neither of those days. Not to mention Thursday means 2 hour Bio lab. 

*Hmm. Indeed*

I'm not in the spirits for any funny at the moment, so please, bare with my tortured soul instead.

happyplace.com

Cancelled!?

Well, today was suppose to be my first day back at school (emphasis on the suppose). Turns out the one class I have on Mondays just happened to be cancelled for the very first day (Can I get an "aww yeah!"?)

So here I am, spending my last day of freedom (as far as I know) doing absolutely nothing of value, which is coincidentally, what I do best.  

Unfortunately, I have an exam tomorrow to study for (to test out of my American Government class - 3 credits for free? I'll take 'em!) but I only have to make a 60 to pass on a 50 question test. Now, I'm not sure how many questions I have to get right to make a 60, and thankfully this is not a math test, but I'm feeling pretty good about it and that is making me procrastinate even more. I don't think I'll ever get anything done again...

Sorry this post was boring as hell. 

I'll try again tomorrow.

Riots and Roasts

I have to say, after watching first the Vancouver riots and now the London riots, I have always wanted to be a part of a riot...but not like a big, massive, people getting whacked sort of riot. More of a lame, 5 people and a dog running around the abandon district riot. Don't want to go too crazy - but anarchy is always fun!

And I have just heard the news that Seth MacFarlane is hosting the Charlie Sheen roast! Now I definitely have to watch it. Can't wait to see who the roasters are this go around. (Please include Lisa Lampanelli!)

4 Things I Have Learned This Week

Thing One: If an institution of higher learning can find a way to screw you over, they will. My college tuition went up - way up. This alone is bad enough, but the fact is that the school did not alert us to this change until 2 days ago when they sent those of us who "had an outstanding balance" that if we didn't pay them by 9am on August the 10th (in one week from the day the call was made) that we would be dropped from our classes. I suppose I shall learn all the creative means that college students can come up with to scrounge up large sums of cash in a short amount of time outside of the old standards, drug dealing and prostitution.

Thing Two: Sharks have two penises. Andy Samberg told me this. Thought everyone should know. [Shark Week - Discovery channel, what was up with playing like 4 hours of American Choppers in the middle of the day?! I'd rather see even more shark doc reruns!]

Thing Three: I can't tell the difference between Ted Danson and Tim Daly. Just can't do it. In a conversation, they are interchangeable.

Thing Four: I suck when it comes to people's birthdays. If they get gifts from me, they get them at least two months late. I like to think of it as a nice surprise and a disappointment all at the same time. Hopefully, my gifts are good. I really do try and genuinely love buying people gifts and I always strive to get the absolute best thing for that person I possibly can; unfortunately I'm a pretty slow shopper...

It Should Be An Offical Summer Celebration

It's that time of year again folks! Ya that's right, it's Shark Week! (One of my favorite weeks of the year!) This year hosted by Andy Samberg; should be interesting. Craig Ferguson was very humorous last year and I hope Andy can keep it fun as well.

There is just something about sharks that I have always loved, even when I was little. I mean they're big, fast, scary-looking and yet beautiful and graceful in their movements. Apparently many others have found themselves entranced by these fascinating creatures as well because we have the annual shark documentary extravaganza known as the infamous Shark Week. Let the fun begin. 

You Know What It's Time For?

Another rousing game of 'commenting on CNN headlines' because headlines are usually the most misleading and fun part of the news and there are some good ones today folks. Enjoy.

26 AK-74 assault rifles stolen from Army post - Wow. Good to know you guys are at the top of your game. 

Chappelle sorry for not being funny - Thank you for apologizing.
Are the Smurfs crypto-fascists? - Yes. Yes they are.
Why Americans once loved France - I still like you as a friend France! It's just I don't want to get into anything serious right now! You understand right?
It's time for the 'Cut the Crap Act' (under 'Politics') - I couldn't agree more.
Hustler offers Casey Anthony $500K - Lovely. Just lovely.
Are Internet Explorer users dumb? - Maybe not dumb. Just ignorant?
Scooby-Doo meets the Kama Sutra - Okaaaaaay.
Apple has more cash than Treasury - Well in all fairness, Apple has had a much better year then the government has.

Apparently Congress is close to making a deal? Cutting it pretty close aren't we guys?
Seniors: We need our Social Security! - And you really don't want to take a piss on them. They're the only ones who vote anymore.

Lucy, I'm Home!

Finally feeling much better and ready to blog again. Ok. Go.

So, Amy Winehouse, huh. It's awful, but I can't say I was surprised. It really is a shame though. I liked her music and it's always good to see addicts get their life together but unfortunately she will forever live on in the 27 club - the club you do not want to become a member of!

P.S. - As for questions that maybe the Grammys shouldn't have honored Rehab, you can go suck it. The Grammys were created to honor great music, not promote social responsibility.

The 93 people dead in Norway! I mean Norway of all places....
An absolute tragedy. I can't even begin to write how saddening that is to hear.

Congress possibly raising the debt ceiling by August 2?
Oh lovely. One poster on Facebook (a friend of a friend)'s response- "If my house was filling to the roof with feces because the toilet was overflowing nonstop...raising the ceiling would not solve my problem."
That pretty much sums it up nicely.

And lastly, for the evening anyways, I am sickened by the devaluing of History as a subject in American schools. History is my favorite subject and an important part of the foundation of every student's knowledge base. Not to mention the famous quote, "Those who do not know their history are doomed to repeat it." But because History is not tested under the No Child Left Behind Act it is given less importance and it's bull crap!

I lied, very lastly, I take my constant cursing of the nail gods for I have given myself a manicure (Cotton Candy Pink from Avon) and it has been 3 hours and not a single chip. I am quite amazed. Ya that's right; I can talk about world news and my nails in the same post. Deal with it. 

Now I must recharge my batteries.

I Assert It Was Illness

Had something flu-like for 4 days now and I'm still not a 100%.

So much bull crap has taken up residence in my life this past week; it's ridiculous! I believe my sickness may be a physical manifestation of my complete and total weariness of all things outside my bedroom walls.

People just confuse the hell out of me...

I'll talk about Amy Winehouse and Norway when I feel better.

For now, enjoy this: a picture of my friend and Henry Winkler

I'm so jealous! I mean, come on! It's THE FONZ!

The Hour is Upon Us

Unfortunately, I will not be participating in the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 premiere at midnight tonight. Instead, I'm finishing reading the last part of the last book (I know, but time got away from me for like 3 years) and it definitely brought me back - serious nostalgia. No matter how much I change, the world of Hogwarts is timeless in my mind. It's been years since I've read one of the books, but it's like I never left.   

P.S. - I own nothing! 

Damn straight.

Yay! Zumba!

So, my friend Sofie invited me to a Zumba class down at our local wellness center. I never realized how out of shape I was, although I guess I should have figured that one out since the most exercise I normally get is the walk between my bedroom and the kitchen.

Anyways, Zumba - "Latin dancing in an aerobic workout kinda way" - kicked my butt! My knees and ankles are screaming at me!

P.S. - So, CBS, Ted Danson is going to be starring in CSI...add Steven Weber to the cast and I'll start watching it again

Well, Ain't That Somethin'?

It's amazing how all the music I used to listen has a totally different meaning now.

Tonight, while reliving my youth and listening to Aaron Carter's 'Cowgirl (don't judge me),' instead of singing 'Yipee-ki-yo-yippe-yay! Lil Momma,' I find myself singing something more along the lines of 'Yipee-ki-yo-yippe-yay! Motherfucker.' 

So now I really want to watch Die Hard...

P.S. - Thank you Bruce Willis.

That's What You Get When You Live in the Boonies

So I decided to clean out the atrocious mess that is my closet. Through the years I have found out that there is a major downside to having a walk-in closet (at least for me) - I feel a compulsive need to fill it with crap. Seriously, it’s like hoarder-like material in here.

I decided that I would sort out my crumpled clothes, from the closet floor, in my bedroom. Unfortunately, my room now looks like the Salvation Army.

But that wasn’t the worst part, oh no. Sorry Mr. Millipede, you were surprisingly hard to kill, but I do not wish to have creatures with that many legs inhabiting the same space that I sleep in of a night. I can take the spiders, millipedes, scorpions, and all the variety of insects the South has to offer, but if I find one rat (at least up here - the basement seems to be a nice home for rats when our cats aren’t fast enough) or a snake in here, I’m moving out! 

Lots of Randomness For All to Enjoy

My reactions based on the CNN homepage:

"Senate Cancels Vacation to Work on Debt" - It's a miracle!! *teary eyes*
"Is the Princess Diana Newsweek Cover in bad taste?" - Well, it's creepy....Is that bad taste?
"How Did 9/11 Impact You?" - It made me even more paranoid (*listens closely on phone to see if I can hear an FBI agent tapping in*)
"What's Too Young For Video Games?" - Well, letting your fetus play Call of Duty may not be your most stellar parental moment...
"Shot 3 Time, He Fears Return to Syria" - And I do not blame him!
"Cop Drives Off With Rifle On Trunk" - *Facepalm* Somehow I'm not surprised....
"FBI: Stowaway Slips Onto US Flight" - Airport security at its finest.
"Extreme Tuition Hikes Ahead" - Just wonderful.

Now onto better news!

So, I totally got this new extension on Google Chrome (Fuck you, Internet Explorer) that allows me to use troll emoticons on Facebook and Twitter! (Highlight of my month!)
THE Extension
Needless to say, I and my friends are having hours of entertainment due to this wonderful application! (Yes, we are easily amused!)

Also, I have a ton of (hopefully) funny posters and pictures for y'all! Enjoy! (I'm in the process of tracking down the credits for these bad boys)

Well Gosh

I know, I haven't posted in a while! It's been a crazy/scary/stressful week in my house and I have not felt like writing a single line. Promise I'll have something good coming soon!

So think about that.

And I'll leave you with this.

reddit.com

Home Sweet Home

Eh, not really. In fact, I wish I had never left the beach at all.

 Real life is far too shitty.

A Shot of Relaxation, Please

Soooooooooooo ready for a beach vacation. That's a lot of o's, so you know it's pretty serious!

tasteofawesome.com

Dedicated to My Parents

Honor thy mother and father? Ya, I'm about to do that right now.

Today was my parent's 22nd wedding anniversary and frankly, I believe they deserve a round of applause! I mean not only are they still together after 22 years, but they don't hate each other! I am blessed to have parents who still love each other and are still under the same roof because that seems to be a rarity these days. I asked them what the secret was and they told me, "compromise."

I have a bad feeling that I would suck at that....

So hats off to them!

You Win This Round Mr. Spider

But you won't win the war!

Ya, in case you were wondering, a spider escaped the clutches of my rolled up magazine and scurried away.

Anyways, let's talk about what's in the news today!

1.) I don't care about Rep. Weiner's wiener. You think he would have known better and would have learned from all the teens now a days who's explicit pictures are getting plastered all over the web, but whatever. The chick he's sending them to and oh ya, his wife, should care, but frankly the worst part of this is that we're constantly being bombarded with pictures of his junk, but thankfully, he's finally been able to identify himself after a long look in the mirror.

2.) Am I comfortable with Facebook's new face recognition feature? Well, frankly, I wasn't aware it was new. My FB has been recognizing mine and my friends faces in the pictures I post for a while now, and I was never exactly comfortable with it when I stopped to think about it. But then again, it's not going to keep me up at night. Hopefully. Cause I'm paranoid enough....

3.) No, I am not going to discuss Palin and Paul Revere. I'm not even going to go there.

4.) Pictures of Caylee Anthony's skull are shown at Casey Anthony's trial. I would talk about this, but it makes me psychically sick to my stomach to imagine what was done to that innocent child. 

5.) Hurricane Adrian is strengthening off the Pacific coast of Mexico and is now a major hurricane. Thank God I live on the East coast. Baton down the hatches West coast.

6.) Ah, Bonnaroo is finally here. I may live near Manchester, Tennessee, but alas, I can not attend.

Midnight Snack?

There is just something about 1am that makes me incredibly hungry! And, of course, I can't be the only one, or we wouldn't have the phrase 'midnight snack.' I wonder what it is that makes us so hungry. I mean, a little hungry makes sense because if you're still awake your body is going to need some food intake to keep itself satisfied, but it's never just a little hungry, is it? It's 'oh my gosh, I'm freaking starving!' But enough about the late night munchies. In fact, I think I'll go to bed before I eat anything else. I've already polished off the Lucky Charms - I think it's time to put down the spoon.

Finished off the Jello too, but unfortunately, my Jello wasn't this cool! 

dashing.livejournal.com

Do You Like Scary Movies?

Yesterday I saw, for the first time, The Silence of the Lambs, and I must say both Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins are fantastic in it. A very interesting and, at least slightly, disturbing film that was very entertaining all the way through, which I find fairly rare in cinema.

Now I'm watching "Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments" on YouTube and all this has brought up, once again, my urge to make films - particularly horror films. There is just something about the horror genre that has the power to affect its viewers more deeply than any other genre can. Fear is such a common, relatable emotion that is in such close proximity to feelings of humor or feelings of love in the strangest ways possible.

I don't know if I'll ever make horror flicks one day or not, but regardless of my future occupation, I will always enjoy a good scary movie.

A great site for horror movie addicts and novices (Note: I have no relation to this site. I just like it.)

:D (aka BIG smile!)

I want a bed like this! (See picture below) I mean, can you imagine?! Snuggling up like a baby bird but with comfier pillows! *Makes really girly sounds like "Squeeeee!"* 

oddee.com

A List of Things That Would Make Me Happy (That Are Actually Plausible)

1.) Commercials/movie trailers listed the name of the song playing.
2.) Apple iPods had a battery time longer than one car ride. (Or maybe that's just mine....)
3.) Sarah Palin could just, I don't know, go away.
4.) Networks actually played quality programming instead of just reality shows about every single sector of life that we never wanted to know about in the first place.
5.) While we're at it, networks, play some some decent shows, or at least decent reruns, on Friday and Saturday for all of us folks who have no lives and don't go out on the weekends *cue the Forever Alone meme* or people who DVR all their shows anyway.
6.) Waterproof/resistant cellphones? They can make waterproof/resistant watches; sounds possible.
7.) Can restaurants not have their water dispenser with the Sprite dispenser? You know, when to get water it's that little white handle under the Sprite button on the soda machine? Because the water gets all Spritey and it's not wanted. I wanted water, not Sprite, if I wanted Sprite, I would have ordered it. (It's even worse when it's with the pink lemonade; then it's just bitter.)

That's all I'll bore you with today, my fine people!

I'll leave you with this:

What does my friend's muffin have to do with this post? Absolutely nothing.

I Didn't Know I'd Love You So Much

At the suggestion of several friends, I finally watched Repo! The Genetic Opera. I thought, 'hey, a horror-rock opera with Anthony Stewart Head from Buffy, Sarah Brightman's stellar vocals, and Paris Hilton's face falling off?! Sign me up!'

To make a long post short - I loved the movie and loved the music!

If you haven't seen it, and you're not squeamish (it's very graphic with the whole ripping organs out thing because, hey, these are the guys who made Saw), see it! [If you have Netflix - it's one of the flicks you can watch instantly on your computer.] You'll either love it or hate it! Hopefully it will be the former and you don't waste 98 minutes of your life....

Oh and let's see, will I talk about American Idol in this post? No, no I won't. That sentence was enough.

Ah, Retail Therapy

I truly do believe that shopping is therapeutic...unless you're a chronic spender, then not so much. I, on the other hand, suffer from a very different kind of disease that was passed on to me through my mother: need-a-sale-itis. I can only buy an article of clothing, or piece of jewelry, if it is on sale. I can not pay full price for anything! Today, I got some rad deals y'all. *Does a happy dance*

Plus, I got to spend time with one of my best, longtime pals! Retail therapy is really the only therapy that is actually enjoyable when you do it with other people. Otherwise, it just feels awkward. I speak from personal experience.

The only downside: we live in a nowhere town! Like the kind of town that you have to describe its location by telling people how close it is to other towns, but the closest town that they have actually heard of is over two hours away. Ya, we live in that town. You think our mall is cool? Dude, stoners and homeless people won't even hang out at our mall. You can actually be the only customer in a large department store on a Saturday. I'm not even exaggerating about that part.

So, anyways, this post is pretty much ending with a rant to retailers everywhere that will go unheard for obvious reasons. We need better stores in our mall. It won't happen because we're a poor small town - a dying breed. End of story.

Sorry that this post was sort of useless. Just needed to vent my retail joys and frustrations. I wonder if bicycle glasses will help....


Well, it certainly didn't hurt.



A Night of Movies and Apocalypses

Oh look at that! Here I am posting the very next day instead of several weeks from now as I had predicted yesterday! Guess my foresight is about as accurate Harold Camping's.

So no zombies...yet...but I'd be a liar if I said I didn't have a 12 gauge in my lap right now...you can never be too prepared!

But so far, I say the whole Rapture/Judgement Day thing was, well...let this hippo tell you


tasteofawesome.com
















Indeed.

Now, on to the rest of my night. I went to a movie premiere (oh, I feel so fancy saying that!) for a short film, entitled The Blue Hole, written, directed, and produced by an old friend of mine, Reed Fincher. The film was actually quite amazing and I'm not just sprouting this because I know the people who made it! Even though it took nearly a year to make, the film is over in just 30 minutes (cue sad face), but I must say that I was glued to that screen for all 30 of those minutes! (Yes, this is a plug, but a very well deserved plug!) A great start to a great future career! (I just wish I was better at this whole movie review thing...)

Plus, I got a special thanks in the credits because I hooked them up with my parent's car. Talk about flattery!

Can't wait for their next film!

Important Links:
Like The Blue Hole on Facebook
Buy a copy of the The Blue Hole on DVD

So, We Kinda Went and Walked for Cancer and Stuff

This evening my dad's company decided to participate in our local Relay for Life event and I tagged along because I wanted to get out of the house. I actually quite enjoyed myself and had a much better time than anticipated.

Plus I saw this

Of course, it was more about raising money for cancer, but this car, well I consider that a lovely topping for the evening.

It was also very crowded, which did indeed bring a little smile to my face because that means that people actually cared enough about this cause to spend a Friday night walking a track.

At this walk, they lined paper bags all around the ground and lit candles inside of the bags after dark. Each of the bags represented a person who is fighting cancer or has passed away from cancer (and that's just in our town). The amount of bags all around the track was staggering.

It's barely even a scratch in the amount of money needed to fund research for better treatments and better prevention plans but it's something. Many people might say things such as, "Oh what does that do? Nothing! It's not going to cure cancer!" Well frankly that's about the equivalent of saying you shouldn't give a homeless man a sandwich because it wouldn't solve world hunger. If we helped even one person in anyway and just made their life a little easier, then it was worth a Friday night. (Not like I had anything else to do!)

Sticking with the serious mood of the night, Macho Man Randy Savage died today. Heart attack behind the wheel of his car. Thanks Randy, not only for giving us years of entertainment, but also for breaking out of the common pro wrestler mold by dying in a way that had no connection to drugs.

On a lighter note, on the way home from the walk, my dad and I saw an EMT sleeping in the back of the ambulance and for some reason we found it extremely amusing.

Here's a really bad picture of it where you can't even see the guy so you'll just have to imagine how funny it was.

P.S. - Since May 21st (aka Judgement Day) is tomorrow, I may not be able to post for several weeks due to the fact that I will be fighting off or further preparing for the impending Zombie apocalypse.

It's All Netflix's Fault

It is entirely Netflix's fault that I stay up all night watching 3 seasons of Crank Yankers because they're the ones who are cutting its live streaming off on the 22nd.

That's my story and I'm sticking too. Not taking personal responsibility for my own actions is what makes me American.

But Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel are worth the sleep deprivation.

Sex, Porn, and Stupidity

Disclaimer: If you clicked on this post because the title has the words "sex" and "porn" in it, don't get too excited.

After my mother and I ate some Mexican food and watched Old Dogs (say what you will but I could not stop laughing while Seth Green sang All Out Of Love on that gorilla's lap), we sat around and had some wonderful discussions about this lovely world we live in and it went something like this...

Okay, first off, Schwarzenegger, how in the world were you able to keep the whole bastard child thing quiet? You must have been paying that woman a ton of money!

"He's a dog!" - My Mum

Second off, this is what'd I'd like to see happen: McCain waterboard Santorum and get him to confess to planning 9/11, planning Pearl Harbor, and killing Julius Caesar. I bet he could and it'd make for a great, entertaining Republican convention for a change. [Note: I'm completely kidding, I do not support the use of torture, even on idiots.]

"I hope he wins the republican nomination...Just because I think he is the best alternative the republicans have..." - A Former Teacher of Mine

Thirdly, and lastly, I don't care that Osama Bin Laden may or may not have had porn in his compound.

"The people who care that he had porn have suffered some form of memory loss..." - Me

I was reading in a news article that suggested that the smear campaign was "because it troubles his potential sympathizers, that's why. They're more upset by porn and hiding behind women than by suicide bombing." Which does make sense; why not throw that little cherry on top?

"The 54-year-old zealot with three wives was the least likely guy in the compound to be watching erotic videos. Logically, the story makes no sense. But politically, it's perfect." - William Saletan

New Beginnings

Second time's a charm because I really don't want to have to start again!

This is my second time starting this blog and hopefully, it's for the better.

The first thing you should know about me: I have wicked insomnia, so most of these posts will probably be at ungodly hours of the night (or at least in my time zone - which is Eastern). Second thing you should know: I usually don't have anything particularly interesting to say, but I try and make it seem like I do.

Hopefully that will suit your blog tastes....

Now I will leave you with this. Enjoy.

http://geeksploit.com/